Garden of the Apocalypse

Roughly two months ago I was listening to a segment on Glenn Beck's radio show about things to consider during the rough economic period we're in, as well as what would happen if things were to further collapse. During the course of the dialogue a really good point was made that, if things were to get really, really ugly, a lot of people would be completely lost. Imagine a world where you have no one to depend on except your family and friends: no stores, no Wal-mart, no mass-transport.

I found myself thinking that if that were to happen, I would be among the "screwed" segment of society.. lacking any basic knowledge of how to grow even the simplest of foods. I decided it made good sense to try and grow some food this summer, if for no other reason than it would help cut down on some food costs later on and provide valuable education in the process.

Thus, the Garden of the Apocalypse was born.

We're two months into the project, and despite an early setback from an untimely late April frost, things are now going fairly well.

Front to back, we have beans, radishes, carrots, and chard. We're also growing some rather large squash plants (no fruit yet) and taking an attempt at a watermelon which thus far has been a complete bust, but we're still early in the growing season for that.

In the other corner are our tomato plants which have been doing quite well. In the far corner we have what I have deemed the "Alpha Male" Beefmaster tomato plant which has grown to the point where its coming out of the top of the cage. Our garden is also sporting some rather large dandelion plants in the back... apparently MiracleGrow also feeds weeds as well.

The Alpha Male is sporting some rather hefty greens right now. Doing some research on Wiki today I learned that Beefmaster tomatoes can often times reach about one pound in weight... which I figure is roughly one can of salsa per tomato.

Chicken Alfredo Bake (Booyah!)

My good friend Mike has shared his magic chicken alfredo recipe with many of us at work. It always smells so good and even Kim has sung its praises (which, hey, if Kim likes it then you know its safe) However, here in the Fortress of Blood, simple recipes simply do not exist. I was prepared to kick it up a notch in the name of culinary greatness.

What you are about to witness is the fusion of Mike's Magic Chicken and a dash of ripping off Pizza Hut's pasta bakes.

INGREDIENTS!!!
3 Boneless Chicken Breasts
2 Packages of Mostacolli
2 Jars Alfredo Sauce
8oz Package Shredded Mozzarella
Parsley and Oregano to taste

Warning: It may not seem like it, but this makes 8 very very large adult portions.


We begin by making about half-inch cuts of the chicken breasts and tossing them into a frying pan. I use a pretty nice non-stick pan and used only a little cooking spray just to ease the initial scoring of the meat. As with most of my cooking I try to keep oil usage to a minimum. At this point you'll want to start boiling your noodles, they should be done just about the same time your chicken is.


Here I put in the parsley and oregano. These two herbs will add excellent flavor to your chicken. You'll want to cook the chicken until its just barely done cooking. The chicken will be spending some time in the oven so its ok if its a tad underdone at this point.


When the noodles are still just a little chewy but almost finished, poor them into your baking pan. I used a glass 9x13 cake pan... however my noodles almost blasted all over the place so you'll either want a bigger pan or less noodles. Poor the alfredo sauce straight from the jar onto the noodles and stir.


Top this off with your chicken and a layer of delicious cheesy goodness. This will go into the oven at 350 for roughly 15-20 minutes. You want the cheese to slightly brown, so I'd recommend checking it at the 15 minute mark and every 5 minutes past that. Total cooking time for mine was 23 minutes.


From start to finish this took about 35 minutes, so its a great item that you can wip up with not a lot of time. That right there is some good eatin'!! Bring big appetites or a lot of people!

The Great Pie Experiment

This Thanksgiving I have decided to attempt something I have never made before as my contribution to the family food table. I have been camping on a pecan pie recipe for months now, secretly holding it away for the Thanksgiving feast. I figured that if there was ever an opportunity to test your dessert on unknowing subjects, it would be Thanksgiving dinner.

Here's the rundown. This recipe is for a 9.5 inch pie.

CRUST!
1 cup flour
2 tbsp brown sugar
1/4 tsp baking powder
1/2 stick (1/4 cup) cold butter
1/4 cup chopped pecans
1 large egg

Now, you will probably notice the complete absence of any water in this crust recipe. After making this, I'm convinced this is a typo as one egg simply doesn't provide enough moisture to make a respectable dough of any kind.

Mix the flour, sugar, powder, and butter together until it forms loose clumps. Then add your pecans and egg. Keep turning the dough until smooth. Make it into a ball, wrap it in plastic wrap, throw it in the fridge for one hour, then pull it out and make your crust. I added water to the dough as needed to allow me to form the crust properly.


FILLING!
3/4 cup brown sugar
3/4 cup dark corn syrup
1/2 cup heavy cream
3 tbsp butter
3 large eggs
2 cups pecans

First, put your sugar, corn syrup, cream, and butter into a medium saucepan and cook on medium heat. You'll need to get this mixture just up to a constant boil so keep an eye on it. Be sure to stir frequently as, since its mostly sugar, you don't want it to completely carmelize. While this is heating up, take your eggs (in a separate container) and beat them until all the yolky lumps are out of it.

At this point, start heating your oven to 350.

Once your sugar mixture has hit the boiling point, pour it into a separate bowl and allow it to cool. After it cools down, pour in your eggs, and give it a good mix. Once you got it all mixed together, pour it into your crust and then top it off with your 2 cups of pecans.

Stick that bad boy in the oven for 45 minutes. I'd advise covering the crust with aluminum foil at the 35 minute mark to avoid burning.

The final result should look something like this.


My family all thought the pie was great, although I will say unless you absolutely love pecans with a passion I would cut the toppings down to about 1.5 cups or even 1 cup of pecans. Overall I was pleased with the pie, but I will likely lower the nut quotient next time I make this.