To Feed a Small Nation

Today at work we ordered a glorious pizza from The Pie for lunch. I had forgotten how obscenely huge these things are. I really think they could feed a small nation... or 10 hungry employees... one of the two.

This is the type of pizza that defines American values! A life of excess and the challenge to push engineering of food to impossible levels. Why settle for a mere 600 calories when you can get a weeks worth of nutrition (and I use the term loosely) in a single sitting? To do so would be do deny the very thing that makes this country great!

For reference, that is a standard 8-inch paper plate that I've placed in the center of that bad boy. And this isn't even the largest size they offer!!

God bless America!

The Car of the Future?

I present you with what I feel is the greatest step thus far in automotive engineering. Consider the following...

A sporty roadster that can go from 0 to 60 in 3.9 seconds... with a redline of 13,000 RPMs.

Standard features include leather seats, Blaupunkt stereo system, HomeLink universal transmitter, power windows and locks, air conditioning, touch nav screen with GPS, PIN activated security and vehicle disabling system, Bluetooth and Wifi integration.

I know you're thinking, "So what? I can get this in any sports car." Well hold on to your butts...

Consider that this vehicle costs you less than two cents per mile to drive and gets an equivalent of 256 miles per gallon.

Consider that you can drive over 200 miles at less cost than a single gallon of premium grade gas.

Consider that this baby is 100% electric with a battery that is capable of 100,000 miles before any performance losses begin to occur.

My I present to you what I personally believe is the first version of the automobile of the future, the Tesla Roadster. I heard a very, very short blip about this car on the Glenn Beck Program about two weeks ago, and just recently got around to doing some research on it. I must say that this... this!!! is the kind of alternative fuel automobile that America has been waiting for. Not some wussy, spineless Prius. A car that has looks, performance, reliability, and could completely free you from the grips of those dastardly Saudis.

I am a firm believer that when more of these kind of cars come to be, that many Americans will more than happily cast aside our gas-guzzling cars. This is the way Capitalism works, the way America works. Take your "Cap and Trade" and shove it, Obama and McCain. Give me an alternative that I actually want to drive and I guarantee it will sell, and sell well.

You can check it out for yourself at TeslaMotors.com.

Not for the Faint of Heart

There's two items I really want to get into today, so let's begin. I'm going to be up-front... this post is not going to be for the faint of heart. If you have problems with tough subjects and some mild profanity on my end, you should stop reading this now.

My first item for today comes from the great state of Massachusetts, courtesy of the piece of human trash, Rep. James Fagan. Mr. Fagan set off immense controversy with comments spoken last month at a House debate regarding Jessica's Law, a new piece of legislation requiring massive mandatory sentences for child sex offenders.

This is what Rep. Douchbag had to say:

"I'm gonna rip them apart," Fagan said of young victims during his testimony on the bill. "I'm going to make sure that the rest of their life is ruined, that when they’re 8 years old, they throw up; when they’re 12 years old, they won’t sleep; when they’re 19 years old, they’ll have nightmares and they’ll never have a relationship with anybody.”

Fagan said as a defense attorney it would be his duty to do that in order to keep his clients free from a "mandatory sentence of those draconian proportions."

Contrary to the beliefs of our Supreme Court, I happen to be in favor of the death penalty for people convicted of raping a child. I feel that our technology has progressed to the point that DNA evidence is fairly reliable means for proving guilt. After that, we're talking execution.. and not this lame-ass sit on death row for a year waiting bullcrap. I'm talking a bullet to the head but only after Bubba in cell block 5 has had his way with them.

The only thing that pisses me off more than child rapists, are the dirtbags like Rep. Fagan who not only defend them but try to find legal loopholes to get them out of a hard conviction. Complete assholes who have forgotten that their job is to defend the innocent, to ensure justice, not to shield the guilty.

If you feel like I do, I urge you to at least email Rep. Fagan. Even if you don't live in Massachusetts I think the message needs to be sent to this fool that he's completely wrong in the head.

By the way, here's his full contact information if you should feel so inclined:

STATE REPRESENTATIVE
JAMES H. FAGAN

State House
Room 163
State House
Boston, MA 02133
Telephone: 617-722-2040

District Office
26 Dean Street
Taunton, MA 02780
Telephone: 508-824-7000

E-Mail: Rep.JamesFagan@hou.state.ma.us
Party Affiliation - DEMOCRAT

I am Ninja!

Well I finally caved. Yes, yes. I finally caved to the glory that is Ninja Gaiden 2. This is probably, aside from Guitar Hero III and Rock Band, one of the most highly anticipated titles to date for the XBox 360. I've been trying to hold out as long as I could... but Microsoft pulled me in with a wonderful free demo available through XBox Live. Damn you Microsoft!

Please note the "M" rating on the cover. I've only played about half of the first mission thus far, and I can tell you with absolute, unwavering certainty that this is not a game for children. Lucky for me, I have no children, so let's get on with the bloodshed shall we?

I'm guessing this is one of the major bad guys I will face down the road. He's a member of the Dark Spider Clan. Yes, that is a scantly clad woman in knee high leather boots wrapped in chains that he's got over his shoulder. I plan on rescuing her later... awww yeeeah!

The first thing that grabbed my attention about this game is the stunning detail of the graphics. The lighting is excellent, the character rendering is beyond compare, and the action my god the action is pretty fast paced. You have a full arsenal of ninja technique at your disposal, including varied weapons of mayhem. My trusty Dragon Katana in hand, I set out to rescue the girl.

... the aftermath of my first encounter with the minions of evil. I emerge victorious, the battered remains of my enemies litter the ground before me... the battle is mine!

... taking a break from the carnage to meditate and take in the wonderfully detailed scenery ... if this game is anything, it is a graphical masterpiece!

I'm doing my best to not blow through this game in my typical one to two days of solid gaming, so I stopped shortly after taking these pictures to come and post my latest displays of virtual heroics. I'm very impressed with the game thus far.

Thank you for playing! I look forward to killing you soon!!

Carrie Underwood!!!!!!

She's on "The List," and she's on her way to Salt Lake City on November 19th!! That's right! Carrie Underwood!!!!! I've heard she's a singer... of some kind... awwww yeeeah.

Now comes the task of working my way into some tickets!

CARRIE!! UNDERWOOD!!!