The Angry Scotsman

My First Baby Shower

2009-08-13T20:36:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow at work will be a first ever experience for me... the first baby shower I've attended. My friend Mike and I came up with (what we hope will be) a great idea for a gift from both him and me. I'm not gonna post what the present actually is, just in case Kim happens to check my blog sometime tonight, but the packaging itself may provide clues!

Celebrate Independence Day 2009

2009-07-04T17:55:00.000-07:00

Once again, Independence Day is upon us. A time for friends, food, and fireworks.. and food!

I've been wondering now for a few years why I continue to put myself through the irritation of planning a 4th of July event.. as most years it has resulted in countless disappointment and irritation. This year was looking to be no different. My friend Kristen and her husband weren't going to be able to come, and getting a committed yes or no from some of my other friends is starting to seem impossible now days.

Add to this, that our traditionally "friend only" event somehow picked up countless family members - parents and siblings - and you have a recipe for suckage of epic proportions.

Or.. at least that's how I thought it was going to turn out. I'm not sure what it is about me or if its something that happened in my childhood to cause this, but I've always been of the opinion that if family is involved, the event or get-together or whatever you want to call it is automatically going to suck. I have to be honest, at first I wasn't the least bit looking forward to spending the holiday this way... in-laws, my friends parents, my friends in-laws, the parents kids... I read this sentence and it sounds something akin to waterboarding to me.

However, I honestly ended up thoroughly enjoying myself... probably for the first time ever at something like this. I'm not sure if it was the combination of friends and family or maybe, just maybe, that I can in fact really have fun with my family once I let go of the "uggggh this is going to SUUUUUCK!" disposition.... Madness, I know.

Everyone seemed to have a really good time, and I guess in the end that's what this day is all about. Being able to get together with friends... and family... and celebrating our freedoms and what makes this country truly great.

Less text, more pics!

The little ones having a great time together

The barbecue hard at work! Delicious!

Kaleah's first Independence Day!

I can neither confirm, nor deny, that this was ours...
(but it was awesome)

Children love holidays even more when they're cracked out on sugar!

The "finale" fountain in progress
(yes, those are fountains stacked on top of each other)

The 4th Division of the Tank Army lies in wait, prepared to strike!

You know you've put on a good show when all that's left is
piles upon piles of burning firework remains.

Make the Smart Choice, Don't Drown...

2009-07-02T17:36:00.000-07:00

Well as everyone knows, we've been getting a lot of rain here in Utah over the last week or two. Apparently that's a major issue for some people who love to drive their cars into giant 5 foot deep lakes of water.

As a public service announcement, I'd like to remind all of my fellow Utah drivers that cars do not float. You will sink. Sinking in water typically results in drowning. And drowning usually = death.

The National Weather Service and I, via the Severe Weather Alert service, would like to remind you to make the "smart choice"

Just say no to drowning!

Scenic Evanston, Wyoming

2009-06-28T17:14:00.000-07:00

Today in preparation for the 4th, Jeff and I made a run to Evanston in hopes of procuring some good fireworks at a fair price. My store of choice was always Porter's, dating back many years into my youth. Porter's has since been converted into the TNT warehouse, so that was naturally the first stop.

Living in Utah, it really sucks trying to find fireworks. What little fireworks are sold here are not impressive, and usually very expensive to boot. One of the greatest things about the store was just how obscene the size of some of the packages were. I was really tempted to buy one of these, but previous run-in's with the county sheriff made me decide to not test my luck.

On the way back to the freeway we passed one of those adult novelty stores. Normally, this isn't really my thing and I just drive on by, however I couldn't help but laugh at the last item on the sign. I felt compelled to take a pic so that I had proof I wasn't just making this all up in my head.

Somehow I don't think "I swear honey, I was just getting my Pac Man on" would cover me from my wife's wrath...

The Blight

2009-06-24T23:12:00.000-07:00

A few days ago I posted about our budding Garden of the Apocalypse.
Things have been going pretty well up until my first visit to the
Garden since the weekend.

The pictures I had last posted were of bounty and green flourishing life...
imagine my surprise to find the garden half dead in a matter of 6
days. The combination of high rainfall plus lack of sunshine have
produced the perfect storm for The Blight, better known as black spot
fungus. In nothing flat we now find ourselves fighting for our harvest.

Everything I've read about this fungus says it's really hard to get
rid of once it gets a foothold on the area. Hopefully we haven't
reached that point quite yet. A good trimming and ample amounts of
fungicide should help us get back on track tonight.

However, the dandelions seem undeterred by this new plague.......

Disaster Resolved

2009-06-17T17:53:00.000-07:00

Well, several hours later my phone issues have finally been resolved.
Apparently Apple's servers were having a momentary meltdown which has
since been fixed. Unfortunately my review of the iPhone 3.0 will be
tainted by the lackluster update, but so far I'm really digging the
universal landscape mode and most of all, cut and paste across all
apps. Everything seems to run a lot faster as well which is awesome.

More lata!

Disaster!!

2009-06-17T12:09:00.000-07:00

Ah yes, the glory of the iPhone update. Download, transfer the update to said iPhone, then as the final step all you have to do is authenticate your phone with Apple's servers.

Easier said than done, my friends. Now my happy little iPhone is reduced to a half pound paperweight, and AT&T has no idea how to fix it. Beware... BEEEEWARE the iPhone 3.0 update! The harbinger of sorrow and despair!

Russia's Pravda Socialism Story

2009-06-15T20:04:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago I mentioned an article I'd read on Pravda
commenting on our country's quick slide into socialism. Here's the
link if anyones interested in the full article. It was really eye
opening for me:

http://english.pravda.ru/opinion/columnists/107459-0/

Sent using iPhone mail!

Garden of the Apocalypse

2009-06-15T19:31:00.000-07:00

Roughly two months ago I was listening to a segment on Glenn Beck's radio show about things to consider during the rough economic period we're in, as well as what would happen if things were to further collapse. During the course of the dialogue a really good point was made that, if things were to get really, really ugly, a lot of people would be completely lost. Imagine a world where you have no one to depend on except your family and friends: no stores, no Wal-mart, no mass-transport.

I found myself thinking that if that were to happen, I would be among the "screwed" segment of society.. lacking any basic knowledge of how to grow even the simplest of foods. I decided it made good sense to try and grow some food this summer, if for no other reason than it would help cut down on some food costs later on and provide valuable education in the process.

Thus, the Garden of the Apocalypse was born.

We're two months into the project, and despite an early setback from an untimely late April frost, things are now going fairly well.

Front to back, we have beans, radishes, carrots, and chard. We're also growing some rather large squash plants (no fruit yet) and taking an attempt at a watermelon which thus far has been a complete bust, but we're still early in the growing season for that.

In the other corner are our tomato plants which have been doing quite well. In the far corner we have what I have deemed the "Alpha Male" Beefmaster tomato plant which has grown to the point where its coming out of the top of the cage. Our garden is also sporting some rather large dandelion plants in the back... apparently MiracleGrow also feeds weeds as well.

The Alpha Male is sporting some rather hefty greens right now. Doing some research on Wiki today I learned that Beefmaster tomatoes can often times reach about one pound in weight... which I figure is roughly one can of salsa per tomato.

Email Formating is made of 100% Pure Lose!

2009-06-06T13:26:00.001-07:00

A warning to anyone using email to post... Your messages will be
poorly formatted at best!

Sent using iPhone mail!

Back on the Wagon

2009-06-06T13:18:00.000-07:00

Well I figured a six month break from the blog scene would be long
enough and that it's time to hop back on the blogging wagon. I've
decided to try out the mobile email blogging feature of the site and
see if that helps keep updates more regular, if not smaller.

I'm not really sure where to even begin with covering the last six
months. I've been watching my county quickly slide into a
nationalized, progressive wet dream and realizing that many people
don't have the time or energy to do anything about it.

I read an interesting article about a week and a half ago from the
Russian online news Pravda.ru (might be off on the name, will need to
dig up the article later) in which it talked about how America is
quickly descending into a socialist state, and how the average
American cares more about their favorite sports team or reality TV
show than about the decisions being made which with each passing day
are stripping more and more of our rights away. It mocked us for our
pride and that even when we're selling out our freedoms for money or
'security' we still have the audacity to mock other countries for
their lack of freedom. I'll have to find the article and post it
later... Was really kind of eye opening but at the same time sadly true.

In other areas things are going about as well as can be expected.
Seems like everyone I know is pregnant or having children right now
which is great for them and honestly makes me a little sad (for
reasons I shall not get into here) but it's still wonderful to see all
of my friends and coworkers experiencing it.

I'm going to finish with something that has really carried me through
the last five or six months of economic uncertainty. In these
uncertain times, be prepared to lose EVERYTHING. I don't mean this in
a doomsday sort of way. It's a mindset that if you mentally prepare
yourself with this in mind, it helps you realize what is really truly
important. It helps you think about ways you can become more self-
reliant. Give it a try and really think it through. You'll see it's
really a freeing concept.

Christmas Reflections...

2008-12-27T14:52:00.001-08:00

Well another Christmas has come and gone, and this year has given me a lot to reflect on and think about as we head into 2009. Its been a Christmas of ups and downs... and I think I've learned a lot about myself and my family this holiday season.

Firstly, I've definitely learned to appreciate all of the hard work that goes into preparing Christmas dinners and events. Heidi and I have been going pretty much non-stop since the 9th and its definitely taken its toll on our energy levels. Today is the first day we've had to pretty much sit and do nothing in almost three weeks.

Still, I wouldn't trade any of the events over the last three weeks for extra rest or relaxation. For the first year in a long time we've been in a position to have dinners, buy nice gifts, and have a wonderful home to entertain in. 2008 has definitely been a year of blessings for me and my wife. I got to experience a lot of joy just having family and friends around, and how exciting it was seeing the children enjoy the holidays.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, and that the good times continue in 2009!

Tragedy!

2008-12-23T14:35:00.000-08:00

Well... I must say this didn't come as a huge shock. It is with great sadness that I report the failure of Hatemonger University to defend the Fantasy Football championship. For the third time this year I couldn't quite cut it against Effie and went down 57-77 in the championship round. Given my regular season record of 7-6-1 I wasn't expecting to get this far, but I had a lot of fun this season.

So until next August, Hate U will sit quietly by and plot their revenge!

Sibling Christmas Dinner!

2008-12-20T16:20:00.000-08:00

With all that we've been able to do this Christmas, we thought it would be a great new tradition to start having a 'sibling Christmas' dinner. Our idea was to have a nice Christmas night with just the kids - myself, my sister and her husband, her kids, and my foster sisters. I also wanted to invite my good friend Jeff and his family since we've been friends since third grade and he's more a brother to me than a friend.

Dinner, I must say, was excellent. We had a glazed ham, yams, green bean casserole, jello, and some tasty rolls. Heidi also wanted to take a shot at making her grandma's sweat mustard sauce for the ham. Everything turned out perfect, although space was pretty tight during dinner.

After dinner we had a small present exchange and then it was time to break out the band! We had a great time rocking out in small groups and even the children were able to get into the act thanks to what we've deemed "Guitar Hero Retard Mode." I guess we could have named it "Child Mode" but it just didn't have the same ring - besides, Jeff could only hack it on the drums at that skill level, so "Retard Mode" seemed a lot more fitting.

While we were busy rocking out, the children took shifts decorating sugar cookies. This sounds like a disaster in the making, I know, but I had the foresight to cover the entire kitchen floor with tablecloths! I'm glad I did because sprinkles were EVERYWHERE!

HOT PIX!!!

Karek and Jackson discuss their haul. Four year olds
reading packaging is a little scary...

Kian thrashes on the guitar. He was averaging over
90% notes hit every time.

Kiera impresses her new boyfriend, Karek, with her
mad drumming skills. She's even got the headbang down.

Jackson and Kian hard at work on the sugar cookies
while Heather supervises.

Cookies manufactured by my beloved niece.
(yes, there are cookies in there somewhere)

The boys at about 1:00am. Too bad we didn't have
any chalk to outline them with lol

The Christmas Sweater

2008-12-17T15:53:00.000-08:00

Tonight my wife and I attended the Fathom Events showing of Glenn Beck's "The Christmas Sweater" which is based on the book by the same name (obviously)

The story focuses on a 12 year old boy named Eddie and a Christmas where what he wanted more than anything else in the world was a bike. His mother, like many others, was in a difficult financial position and was only able to make a handmade sweater for his only gift. Its not until his mother dies in a horrible car accident driving home from their grandparents that Christmas night that the story truly begins.

What follows is a story of anger, guilt, sorrow and sadness... whereby Eddie learns the true meaning of Christmas. In the end, this story is really about the storms that all of us face in life, and about finding the courage to push through the storm and keep on living.

The stage show production was excellent. Glenn provided the narration and acting, and was accompanied by an orchestra and gospel singer. I really thought it was a great story... even though the first act was really quite sad. My wife's only complaint was the gospel rendition of "God be with You til we Meet Again" as she was under the impression that it was a "Mormon song" - whatever that means - and shouldn't have been sung the way it was. Even after I reminded my wife that it was actually a Christian song, she still objected to it.

What can I say... my wife is a dirty racist. I myself had a great time, and I'm convinced that these Fathom Events are totally the way to go if you want to see a play or stage show. Tickets are a lot cheaper and you get a much, MUCH better view than you would from any seat in the theater its being performed in.

A Candlelight Christmas

2008-12-16T22:40:00.000-08:00

On the way to work this morning, I saw a billboard for A Candlelight Christmas being held at This is the Place Heritage Park. Having never been to this before I thought it would be something fun that my wife and I could enjoy. Even though it was very, very cold, we braved the trek up 8th South to check it out. I also thought this would be an awesome opportunity to test out my new camera!

The idea of the display is how Christmas would have been back in the days of the pioneers. Odd, I thought.. here all this time I've been thinking the pioneers didn't have electricity.. but I digress.

Our first stop was their recreation of the Nativity, complete with the Star and bed in a manger, or in this case a barn. Have I mentioned how awesome I think my new camera is? I must admit I had a difficult time getting the right shutter speed so that it didn't look like these pictures were taken in the middle of the day with flash grenades going off in front of you, but once I got it down I think they turned out great.

Another really neat thing they did was pioneer type crafts. With your admission, you got to build any three crafts of your choosing, and the different crafts were scattered throughout the many buildings of the park. We built a paper Nativity, made a copy of the first commercial Christmas card using a printing press, and made our own jingle bells. It was pretty cool to see how all these things were done 'back in the day.'

Speaking of the printing press, as we were walking through the printing building, I took out my camera to take a picture of a printing machine. I didn't notice until after I'd taken the picture that a slight amount of fog had built up on my lens due to coming into the warm building from the frozen tundra. I think it turned out pretty awesome with the fog effect.

One final thing that caught my eye is we were leaving was a candy display in the window of an old original ZCMI building. It occurred to me that a lot of the children walking around probably wouldn't even realize that the display is something that was a tradition in Salt Lake City for hundreds of years, only to be brought to a dead stop thanks to Macy's purchasing ZCMI a few years ago. Brought back a lot of memories of my brothers and sisters going downtown to see the beautiful candy displays at ZCMI during the holidays.

Pre-Christmas Goodness

2008-12-15T22:23:00.000-08:00

Tonight I got my first Christmas present from my dear wife, the above-shown, very hot Nikon CoolPix P80. Sporting an 18x optical zoom, a huge array of features, and 10.1 megapixels of photo taking goodness.

I waited two hours after opening my camera for the batteries to charge so I could play around with it. One of the only complaints I found about this camera online was that it takes poor pictures in very low light, so I decided to put that to the test right out of the gate while I had my 15 days to return the camera if I didn't like it.

These pictures are of our Christmas tree from across the room. It should be noted that the Christmas lights were the only light source in the entire room and I didn't use any flash. I think I can say with safety that the people making the complaints about low light had no idea what they were doing.

Note: these pictures are at 25% of their original size. The originals were 3648x2736 resolution. You can click on the pictures to view them larger.

Love this camera already.

Third Time's the Charm?

2008-12-15T22:15:00.000-08:00

Ahhh sweet, sweet victory! I have yet again survived another week of Fantasy Football Playoffs with a great win over Sean 80-61. Thanks go out to the G-Men for playing their worst game of the season in their loss to the Cowboys. It was that game that allowed me to cruise to victory!

Now its on to the finals, where I will again face my arch-nemesis Effie. I've yet to beat her in two prior games this year, so perhaps third time's the charm. We'll find out this weekend!

iPhone Playtime

2008-12-13T17:26:00.000-08:00

As you may remember from my earlier posts, my iPhone really doesn't take the best pictures in low-light or indoor situations. About a week ago, I had read a few snippets online about some apps which greatly improve the functionality of the iPhone camera and allow it to take some semi decent shots. Keep in mind, its only a 2 megapixel camera so the results can only get so good.

The first app I downloaded is called SteadyCam. This program allows you to take better shots in low light or indoor situations by using the built in motion detection sensors in the phone. You press the shutter button, then as soon as the phone detects that the camera is steady it takes the pic. Helpful for people like me who inadvertantly shake the camera when pressing the picture button. This program was free and it actually works pretty well.

The second program is Camera Bag. This program allows you to take pictures using 12 different picture lens effects - ranging from black and white to a grainy 1970s camera to some more modern effects. I really like this program a lot as it allows you to do some really creative things with pictures you're taking right at that moment. Here's a couple pictures I took using a black and white effect, and then a 1930s camera grain:

The final app I downloaded is PhotoLab which allows you to do a lot of creative, on the fly photo editing before you email your pictures off. I'm not sure how extensively I will use this app, as I can do all of these things using Photoshop, but its great for times I won't have access to my computer and need to do some base photo editing. I took a few before and after shots of my beloved Alessandra and a Mountain Dew can to show off some effects. I uploaded these directly from the camera 'photo roll.'

Sadly I did not get to take this picture in person

This is using the stencil effect

This is the dramatic black and white effect

All hail the Dew!

The pencil with color effect, which produces cool results

MoTab Christmas Concert!

2008-12-12T20:42:00.000-08:00

Last night, my wife and I had the opportunity to attend the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert. This is probably one of my favorite Christmas traditions, and for us always marks the traditional beginning of the Christmas season.

The theme of the concert was "Ring Christmas Bells," with many of the musical numbers featuring the bell choirs from Davis, Fremont, Jordan, Murray, and Riverton High Schools. The special guests were Brian Stokes Mitchell, who has been in more Broadway productions and received more awards than honestly anyone else I can name, and Edward K Herrman, who is well known for his portrayal of FDR in "Eleanor and Franklin" and more recently as Richard Gilmore on CW's "The Gilmore Girls."

The concert featured many, many un-traditional Christmas songs, some of which weren't even really Christmas songs. One thing I immediately picked up on was how prominent Brian Stokes Mitchell was in this concert - largely featured in about two-thirds of the overall performance. At many times I felt like I was at a Brian Stokes Mitchell concert with the Choir in the background.

It should be noted that this was not a bad thing! Mitchell has a powerful, amazing voice that completely blew me away. He was absolutely fantastic in all aspects. My favorite peices of his work that evening were two songs: "Through Heaven's Eyes" from The Prince of Egypt and "New Words."

A trend I've noticed in recent years is that the Choir will do a peice centered around a story from history. This year the story was told from the Civil War, and a man named Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. It was during this timultuous period in our nation's history that he wrote four stanzas of a poem which would later become the Christmas song "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day." Edward K Herrmann narrated the story, and did a fantastic job. He has a really awesome story-telling voice.

Overall, I felt the concert was one of the best in recent years, mostly because so much new material was performed. It didn't feel like the same old rehashed Christmas concert, something unique and wonderful to experience! I hope the Choir keeps this up in the coming years ahead.

Here's a shot from the final song, "Angels from the Realms of Glory" - my favorite Choir Christmas song ever! Sweet, sweet forbidden pictures!

Dying in the Firey Flood

2008-12-11T14:09:00.000-08:00

Leave it to me to interject politics into the holiday season, but I just couldn't help but make a post about our impending doom from the global firestorm that is "global warming." Even though the winter of 2007-2008 was one of the coldest in many years, our deaths are still a certainty. Remember, the science is settled. Global Warming is caused by man, not that giant ball of fire in the sky.

On an unrelated note, it snowed in New Orleans today. The last time it snowed in the Big Easy was on Christmas Day 2004. In Amite, LA today, eight inches fell, crushing buildings from the sheer weight of the snow. The last time Louisiana received this type of significant snowfall was in 1989.

Move along, you Holocaust denier. Move along.

Wheeler Farm Party

2008-12-10T21:51:00.001-08:00

This evening was the Christmas party for my mom's church, courtesy of the fine folks at Wheeler Farm. Even though we don't attend the same church as my mom, she was kind enough to extend an invitation to my wife and I as well as my sister's family and my grandmother.

It started off with a great country fried chicken, mashed potato, and stuffing dinner with more bread than should be allowed under state law. All the butter and jam currently in circulation couldn't have covered the demand of these rolls. Thankfully, only a small portion was eaten. This was pretty much my nephew Scotland's first major major event but he seemed to handle it really well.

The majority of the night's entertainment was provided by the a cappella group Hangtime. One of the highlights of their show was a funny as hell rendition of Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer. Prior to the show, they asked people for various nouns, verbs, etc and ad-lib'd key parts of the lyrics. They also roped my foster sister Tiffany into helping with the act by playing the part of the poor embarrassed reindeer (see the above pic)

There was also a reading of the biblical story of Christ's birth and a silent auction to benefit their church. Last I checked I was the high bidder for a pair of Phantom of the Opera tickets for a show this coming March. Hopefully my bid held out because its been forever since I've seen Phantom live.

As usual, I was a complete and total sucker for my neice Kiera. I couldn't help but snap pic after pic and she was more than willing to give me all the photo shoot time I asked for.

Overall the evening was a lot of fun and everyone I talked to had a great time. The entertainment was fantastic, and this was a great way to kick off our fifteen days of action packed Christmas hell... I mean joy. Christmas joy!

This is what a total sucker looks like, right here. I'm still kind of a noob at this self-picture taking thing though.

Wild Card!

2008-12-10T06:45:00.001-08:00

After Monday Night's game between Carolina and Tampa, I had resigned to the fact that my Fantasy Football team would not be joining the glorious ranks of the playoffs for the first time in the 8 years that I've been running leagues. My coworker Effie edged me out by a mere 2 points in our final game for what would have given me the division championship.

Imagine my surprise to wake up this morning to find myself in the playoffs!

That's right, boys and girls, thanks to some rather ill-timed losing streaks on the part of the stronger 'middle ground' teams, I have secured the lone Wild Card spot by a one-half game margin! I'm not exactly proud of my 7-6-1 record this year, but I will live to play another week!

This week I'm up against Kristen's husband, Sean. In our matchup this season, the Diablo Vino bested me by a meager 5 points, however since then I have outscored Sean's team 330-232 - an average of almost 25 points per week. The guys over at NFL.com are giving me a razor thin 1-point edge in our matchup preview for this week, so it should be interesting to see how Sunday turns out.

Kickin' Off the Holidays

2008-12-09T21:31:00.000-08:00

Tonight officially kicks off the Christmas season for me and my wife. Thanks to Lu at my office, the finishing touch was put onto our Christmas tree this evening (the bow on top of our tree) I'm really quite pleased with how it turned out.

Unlike most years, the two weeks before Christmas are going to be jammed this year with all kinds of events with friends and family. The good ol' blog should see a multitude of updates over the next two weeks. So, until the next post, have a merry Christmas!

Chicken Alfredo Bake (Booyah!)

2008-12-07T20:26:00.000-08:00

My good friend Mike has shared his magic chicken alfredo recipe with many of us at work. It always smells so good and even Kim has sung its praises (which, hey, if Kim likes it then you know its safe) However, here in the Fortress of Blood, simple recipes simply do not exist. I was prepared to kick it up a notch in the name of culinary greatness.

What you are about to witness is the fusion of Mike's Magic Chicken and a dash of ripping off Pizza Hut's pasta bakes.

INGREDIENTS!!!
3 Boneless Chicken Breasts
2 Packages of Mostacolli
2 Jars Alfredo Sauce
8oz Package Shredded Mozzarella
Parsley and Oregano to taste

Warning: It may not seem like it, but this makes 8 very very large adult portions.

We begin by making about half-inch cuts of the chicken breasts and tossing them into a frying pan. I use a pretty nice non-stick pan and used only a little cooking spray just to ease the initial scoring of the meat. As with most of my cooking I try to keep oil usage to a minimum. At this point you'll want to start boiling your noodles, they should be done just about the same time your chicken is.

Here I put in the parsley and oregano. These two herbs will add excellent flavor to your chicken. You'll want to cook the chicken until its just barely done cooking. The chicken will be spending some time in the oven so its ok if its a tad underdone at this point.

When the noodles are still just a little chewy but almost finished, poor them into your baking pan. I used a glass 9x13 cake pan... however my noodles almost blasted all over the place so you'll either want a bigger pan or less noodles. Poor the alfredo sauce straight from the jar onto the noodles and stir.

Top this off with your chicken and a layer of delicious cheesy goodness. This will go into the oven at 350 for roughly 15-20 minutes. You want the cheese to slightly brown, so I'd recommend checking it at the 15 minute mark and every 5 minutes past that. Total cooking time for mine was 23 minutes.

From start to finish this took about 35 minutes, so its a great item that you can wip up with not a lot of time. That right there is some good eatin'!! Bring big appetites or a lot of people!

Blatant Violation!!!

2008-12-06T19:10:00.000-08:00

So after working almost a full day on Saturday, I was looking forward to coming home to a nice relaxing night of World of Warcraft. Work had been rough, I've been on the edge of death with my Man Cold, and I needed a good few hours of rest...

I come home to my loving, dear wife... only to find that the sacred Man Cave has been violated!!! My once humble solace of gaming pleasure... battered and raped in my absence...

Memorial services will be held on Wednesday, December 17th at 6:00pm.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-27T21:17:00.001-08:00

Well today was the big day. By "big," I mean the day I put on about 10 pounds from various foods and desserts (including the mystery pie) In all seriousness, its a great day to give thanks and see members of my family that I don't get to see all that often.

My mom hosted dinner tonight at her church, which was great of them to let us use their building and kitchen for our large group. One of the high points of the evening for me was the opening toast, where we went around every member of the family and we all made a toast to something that we were thankful for. I was really impressed by some of my nieces and nephews who gave answers like "my parents" and "my brothers and sisters." My youngest foster sister, Tiffany, said she was thankful for school (and she was serious to boot) Stephanie, the older foster sister, said that she was thankful to have the family she was now a part of.

Then there were answers like that given by my stepsister Lori, that she was thankful for her new dog. I was seriously blown away that the oldest of the children was the only one to give something completely material as something she was thankful for. Her husband Matt seemed pretty unimpressed.

PIX!

Mom, Michelle, Tiffany, Stephanie, Traivs, and Grandma
(I think the girls were just pretending to eat for this photo shot)

Rick, Lori's kids, Lori the Dog Lover, and her husband Matt

The back of my wife's head, Adam's parents, and Adam
(Melissa is hiding on the center-left)

Here's the kids hard at work at the craft table
(awesome idea on my mom's part, I must admit)

Their creation, the four-legged turkey
(......)

The Great Pie Experiment

2008-11-27T13:00:00.000-08:00

This Thanksgiving I have decided to attempt something I have never made before as my contribution to the family food table. I have been camping on a pecan pie recipe for months now, secretly holding it away for the Thanksgiving feast. I figured that if there was ever an opportunity to test your dessert on unknowing subjects, it would be Thanksgiving dinner.

Here's the rundown. This recipe is for a 9.5 inch pie.

CRUST!
1 cup flour
2 tbsp brown sugar
1/4 tsp baking powder
1/2 stick (1/4 cup) cold butter
1/4 cup chopped pecans
1 large egg

Now, you will probably notice the complete absence of any water in this crust recipe. After making this, I'm convinced this is a typo as one egg simply doesn't provide enough moisture to make a respectable dough of any kind.

Mix the flour, sugar, powder, and butter together until it forms loose clumps. Then add your pecans and egg. Keep turning the dough until smooth. Make it into a ball, wrap it in plastic wrap, throw it in the fridge for one hour, then pull it out and make your crust. I added water to the dough as needed to allow me to form the crust properly.

FILLING!
3/4 cup brown sugar
3/4 cup dark corn syrup
1/2 cup heavy cream
3 tbsp butter
3 large eggs
2 cups pecans

First, put your sugar, corn syrup, cream, and butter into a medium saucepan and cook on medium heat. You'll need to get this mixture just up to a constant boil so keep an eye on it. Be sure to stir frequently as, since its mostly sugar, you don't want it to completely carmelize. While this is heating up, take your eggs (in a separate container) and beat them until all the yolky lumps are out of it.

At this point, start heating your oven to 350.

Once your sugar mixture has hit the boiling point, pour it into a separate bowl and allow it to cool. After it cools down, pour in your eggs, and give it a good mix. Once you got it all mixed together, pour it into your crust and then top it off with your 2 cups of pecans.

Stick that bad boy in the oven for 45 minutes. I'd advise covering the crust with aluminum foil at the 35 minute mark to avoid burning.

The final result should look something like this.

My family all thought the pie was great, although I will say unless you absolutely love pecans with a passion I would cut the toppings down to about 1.5 cups or even 1 cup of pecans. Overall I was pleased with the pie, but I will likely lower the nut quotient next time I make this.

Victory!

2008-11-24T19:13:00.000-08:00

Firstly, my apologies for falling off the wagon with the blog. I tend to go through periods where so much happens that I really don't have time to make it to the ol' blog to post something.

This last weekend I made a wager as to the outcome of the annual BYU vs Utah football game. Thanks largely to Max "Turnover Machine" Hall, Utah emerged triumphant by a margin of 48-24. This was excellent news for me, as my wager with Mike was that whoever won, we'd wear those shirts on Monday.

Excellent news for me. For Mike, not so much. Go Utes!

Insanity... (Updated)

2008-10-08T21:07:00.000-07:00

Well, as many have probably noticed by now, the video of the children praising the Messiah has been removed from YouTube.

I'm actually quite curious as to what has precipitated this move, but if I had to guess I'd put my money on the rather large number of comments claiming the children were being exploited without any real knowledge of what they were singing about - not that having no idea what you're talking about has ever stopped anyone from engaging in politics.

In somewhat unrelated news, I am shocked and amazed -insert sarcasm here- that our $850 billion Bailout package ($700 billion plus $150 in pork) plus a coordinated rate cut by every civilized nation has failed to stem the destruction of our economy. You'd think with as much as Ben Bernanke claims to have studied the Great Depression, he'd know more than anyone that GOVERNMENT CANNOT FIX THIS PROBLEM, they will only make it worse. The artificially inflated markets need to be punctured. The businesses that took excessive risks need to fail.

I realize that there will be huge, HUGE economic hardship when (not if) this happens. We need to just let it happen... not completely debase our currency or needlessly throw away almost a trillion dollars in a futile attempt to stop it.

Insanity...

2008-09-30T18:22:00.000-07:00

I found this video on YouTube today and I'd like to share it with you all. If this is not the most freakish, disturbing display of.... good grief I don't even know what of but it really disturbed me.

Part of me wonders if these children even know what the hell they are even singing about. I was even more disturbed at the lyrics after the initial shock wore off...

We're gonna spread happiness
We're gonna spread freedom
Obama's gonna change it
Obama's gonna lead 'em

We're gonna change it
And rearrange it
We're gonna change the world.

Now's the moment, lift each voice to sing
Sing with all your heart!
For our children, for our families,
Nations all joined as one.
Sing for joy and sing abundant peace,
Courage, justice, hope!
Sing together, hold each precious hand,
Lifting each other up;
Sing for vision, sing for unity,
Lifting our hearts to Sing!

YES WE CAN (insert puking sound here)

So... let me get this straight. Change the world... Rearrange the world... Nations joined as one. This would be an awesome concept... in Soviet Russia. This is what I don't understand about these nutjob liberals/socialists. Socialism has failed, over and over and over again in all other parts of the world. What could possess anyone to believe that it will work here in America?

Often times I feel like I'm starting to become one of the few people in this country that enjoys my individuality, that enjoys the government not being in every single facet of my life. I don't want to have the same life as my neighbor. I don't want massive government sponsored initiatives that force us to live in perfect government mandated peace and harmony. I don't want people to be punished for being successful so that their money can go to fund the lazy and uneducated. I don't want "running to Uncle Sam" to be people's first option when it should be the complete and total last resort.

But like I said, sometimes I think I'm the only person who feels this way anymore.

Fantasy Football Goodness

2008-09-29T16:48:00.000-07:00

So its been a little while since I've posted anything in the good ol' blogger blog, so I thought I'd get started with an intro to Fantasy Football 101. Rule #1: Its a bad idea to invite your wife to your fantasy football league, and an even worse idea to play her early on in the season.

This is especially true when your wife has exceptionally good luck, as mine does. This week I learned a true lesson in humiliation as my Hatemonger University was completely demolished by the Bookworm Tarus - 112 to 57. Yes, she about doubled my score... awesome! With this public spanking I fall to 2-1-1 which puts me one game out of the division lead and half a game back for the lone Wild Card spot. Suffice to say I'm not in a great spot however there is 10 weeks left in the season, so there is still hope.

Liberty City Online

2008-08-04T17:00:00.000-07:00

So today while I was laid up on my couch with a crippled back, I decided I could use some much needed entertainment. Having never tried the multiplayer games in Grand Theft Auto IV I decided I would give it a shot.

First off... if I ever find the genius at Rockstar that decided the multiplayer needed a specific port for data transmission, I will beat them to death in their sleep.... I'm just saying.

At first I couldn't figure out for the life of me why I couldn't connect to a multiplayer game over XBox Live. It would start to connect. I'd hear the punks talking on their microphones. Then bam disconnected. At first I thought maybe it was due to server load but after several failed attempts to connect to various games I decided there must be some other problem. I should note that this is the only XBox 360 game I own that has had this problem... so I was very confused as to the source.

Some digging through Google provided my answer: Port 3074. All game data routed through that specific port. The voice chat was routed through the main XBox Live servers which was why I could communicate with my charming partners in crime. Needless to say, I was mildly upset. My network at home uses two routers which makes setting up a dedicated port a pain in the rear to say the least. I also learned that Windows Vista has no Telnet client installed by default... awesome.

After some time I finally got the routers configured and was able to connect. In my first glorious battle I had the immense pleasure of running over a 10 year old brat with a full-size truck, then getting out and gunning him down while he was dazed from the impact.

Then came the intelligent retort over XBox Live voice chat...

"You mother f***er! I'll f***ing kill you! I'll f***ing KILLLLLLLLL YOUUUU!!!!!" Yes, this was from the 10 year old who's cracking, trembling voice disclosed his prepubescent status.

Ah, Liberty City, the Home of the American Dream.

MoTab and the Osmonds

2008-07-25T22:23:00.000-07:00

Tonight was probably one of the most weird, interesting mixes of musical performance I've ever seen at the Conference Center. The Tabernacle Choir and the Osmonds had a joint performance for the Pioneer Day celebration.

Let's get one important fact out of the way... my iPhone takes hella crap pictures in any situation involving reduced lighting, so I apologize for the poor picture quality. Note to Apple: Yes, I would still be willing to buy your phone if you had tacked on another $40 to the purchase price for a few extra camera features. Now, time for some sweet, sweet forbidden pictures. (ADD moment: I'm not entirely sure if this is indeed forbidden pictures, since they only asked for no FLASH photography, and my iPhone clearly has no flash.)

Now, since my dad is in the choir I have had many opportunities to be to various MoTab performances. And I must say, this is by far the worst I have ever been to. In fact its probably the only concert I'd place in terms of "worst" - most of the time I compare the concerts in factors of how much "better" one is over the others. It is, however, also the first concert I've been to since Mack Wilberg was named the successor to Craig Jessop. I am hopeful that this is not a sign of things to come.

(No, this is not a picture from my camera, its a snapshot from the broadcast pulled from a DVR)

Not that I'm saying the performance was trash. It was very well done, but I found the song selection by the Choir to be somewhat... lacking. All of the songs performed by the Osmonds were energetic or fast paced, yet every time the Choir stepped up to the plate the songs were slow, quiet, and came off very bland. I also was a little down that this performance contained exactly zero new musical content from the Choir. I felt like they had fallen back on many of their older peices for some reason... perhaps to play it safe or to not take too much spotlight from the Osmonds. Whatever the reason, I think it backfired on them.

Never the less, I did enjoy myself and it was a great evening Downtown. I also got a great picture of the temple on my way out on this beautiful July evening.

Pioneer Day!

2008-07-24T23:32:00.000-07:00

One hundred and sixty-one years ago, a large train of wagons pulled into the valley which would later be the home to Salt Lake City, Utah. They were the first pioneers to arrive, but certainly not the last. Their stories are of faith, of courage, and of adversity. And its to those brave men and women that we owe our way of life here in Salt Lake City.

Today we had a great family get together. I don't get to see this side of my family nearly as often as I would like, but it was wonderful to see them all. We had a barbecue featuring hamburgers topped with homemade guacamole, corn, and watermelon. It was a pretty good time.

Here is my nephew Jaxson showing off his mad swinging skills. He was actually doing a pretty good job of keeping himself going in the "flying like a bird" position.

My niece, Kiera, sporting her mullet-bowlcut hybrid. I was able to take this between the repeated demands for more pushes. Yes, I am a sucker for little girls with mullets... does anyone else find that disturbing?

This is Oliver, one of the multitude of dogs we had at our family event. His lightning fast reflexes and prowess in battle made him the ideal competitor...

... versus Marley, Destroyer of Worlds. We had to keep him tied up because, as his moniker implies, he was frequently trashing the watermelon table. We decided to pit these two ferocious beasts against each other in deadly combat for our amusement...

... Or not.

Operation Fatty Fat Fatso

2008-07-23T22:30:00.000-07:00

So last Friday, after spending the night watching Batman and feasting on Irish pub food, ice cream, and appetizers at Applebee's ... Jeff and I came up with an amazing new initiative. We're going to get fit!

You can stop laughing now... seriously...

Perhaps its been motivated by Jeff's diabetes or my father's recently diagnosed cancer, but we've both decided we want to live past the age of 40 and have the possibility of seeing our children grow up. Crazy, I know, but I'm just sayin' that might have something to do with it.

Day 1 of the Fatty Fat Fatso campaign was Monday. Things went rather well... although I was slightly disturbed by losing about 5 pounds of water weight from a 30 minute, 3 mph walk. Yes, it was that disgusting. I'll let that vision sink in for a moment. However nothing would have prepared me for the shame I felt tonight.

Tonight, Day 3 of Operation Fatty Fat Fatso. I was doing my treadmill thing, shedding water like you would not believe, and in comes little Miss Skinny. She hops on the treadmill, cranks it up to 7 mph, goes for 20 minutes, and barely even breaks a sweat. She weighs 117 pounds (Yes, I was able to make out the details on the scale through the sweat pouring off my brow) I was baffled that she was even in there. I was thinking to myself, "Why are you here? For God's sake, go eat something!"

It then occurred to me... the only reason I'm even having to come up with Operation Fatty Fat Fatso is because I have spent the last 10 years not doing that 7mph sprint for 20 minutes a day. Ten years ago, I was 180 pounds. Monday, I was 245. Today, 240. (Did you think I was kidding about the sweating off 5 pounds of water?) That's 60 pounds over my weight 10 years ago. Its, honestly, quite depressing.

I'm going to begin tracking my weight loss starting today, in hopes of providing a solid source of inspiration and motivation. I will be taking three weight measurements per day and hopefully see a fairly constant downward trend. The main thing I need to keep in mind is that this weight got put on over the course of 10 years, its not going to come off in a month. It might take a while but I am determined to shed this damn weight before it kills me.

Public Enemy #1 is unfortunately... Dr Pepper. That's going to be the first thing I need to take out. I'll report back with updates on Operation Fatty Fat Fatso.

Beck '08: Unelectable!

2008-07-17T16:42:00.000-07:00

8:05pm: The show just came to an end. Truly a very humorous, enlightening, entertaining experience. This is something I wish everyone could see and truly understand. I've never gone to a show where I've laughed so hard, and at the same time shed a few tears out of pride for what we as a people are.

7:45pm: Glenn just gave probably one of the best quotes I've ever heard in my life... "Our power as a nation comes from 'We the People,' and truly it doesn't even really come from there. Power comes from up there, from God, and it is then channeled into us. As long as we follow that path: From there (above), to here (ourselves), to here (the expression of our ideas) we will never go wrong."

7:08pm: ADD time. During intermission saw a couple interesting movie posters.

6:55pm: Its intermission time. This show has been seriously awesome so far. Tonight in the audience is the governor of Texas and Marcus Luttrell. (Added note for those that don't know, Marcus Luttrell is the only survivor of SEAL Team 10, the only man to survive an attack from 200 Taliban. In short, he's a true hero) Glenn's ripped on Obama and McCain pretty evenly but also touched on global warming, gun rights, and a broad range of other topics. I'm having a great time and I must say it's awesome to be around a ton of people who understand that our government is completely out of control on both the D and R sides.

One thing I've been really impressed with is the diversity of the audience. All ages. All races. And so many flipping hatemongers.. Or I'm sure that's what this is going to be billed as in some liberal blog at some point.

5:55pm: countdown is running... Aww yeeeeah! Let's get this started!

5:45pm: So here I am at Jordan Landing getting ready for Beck '08. The theater is sold out and everyone seems really excited for the show to begin. Glenn has apparently provided the premovie trivia as well. I've also learned that I can't upload photos from my phone, so I'll have to post those later.

Life's Curve Balls

2008-07-16T21:11:00.000-07:00

I've been having a difficult time dealing with everything that's transpired in the last 7 hours. I feel compelled to write something but I'm not really sure what I should write or what really feels appropriate right now... except that life really comes at you hardcore sometimes.

For those I haven't told yet, my father called me this afternoon and informed me that he has been diagnosed with cancer. He was on his way to the hospital for some additional tests and I haven't really heard anything since then. For now I will need to be content to wait and try to deal with this revelation as best I can.

It seems odd that before this, my biggest concerns were if I was going to arrive early enough at Glenn Beck's comedy show tomorrow night to get a good seat, or if Mike was going to be able to make it to The Dark Knight on Friday. I'd been laughing at the newest Charlie the Unicorn video on YouTube and silently cursing the elderly woman who couldn't remember whether or not she'd made a $300 purchase at Rite-Aid 20 minutes before I called.

Right now all of these concerns seem so trivial and pointless. It should be good enough that I'm even getting to attend Glenn Beck's show tomorrow, and that on Friday I'll be able to enjoy some good times with my friends. My personal health should be getting more attention than Charlie the Unicorn II. I should be more patient with the 90 year old woman who has problems with her short term memory.

Just some of the many things I've thought about today while I wait for more info... its weird what all goes through your head while you contemplate these things.

In somewhat related news, this weekend is looking to be full of fun and excitement - which is probably what I need. Tomorrow night I'll be attending Beck '08: Unelectable with my wife. I've heard really good things about this comedy tour and I'm really looking forward to it. I'm going to take my first attempt at some semi-live blogging with my new iPhone... so we'll see how that goes.

Friday night I'll be heading out with the guys to The Dark Knight. It should be a good time all around. I really enjoyed the new, darker tone of Batman Begins, and I've heard this next installment carries on that tradition in grand fashion. So far, its gotten pretty outstanding reviews. I hope it lives up to the hype!

Wall-E - The Film about Evil Mankind

2008-07-13T12:41:00.000-07:00

So yesterday after picking up my new iPhone, Heidi and I decided to catch a movie. The choice was between Kung Fu Panda and Wall-E. I've been really wanting to see both movies so we had to make a choice between the two.

Let's just say I wish I had THAT choice to make again.

I'm not really sure what to say about this film, other than if you can get past the "Mankind is evil, lazy, and bad for the Earth and we're not going to do anything about it until Earth is a giant trash-filled dustball" undertone being shoved down your throat during the entire film, you will probably enjoy it.

My wife could get past that. I, however, could not. I tried, I really did. But just as soon as I was past it, Pixar slammed it on me again. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought the consequences of our 'inaction' on Global Climate Change was supposed to make us all die in floods? Apparently floods aren't scary enough anymore, so the message has been changed to barren wastelands with no vegetation of any kind, 300mph windstorms ON LAND, and hardly any water of any kind on the surface.

Also, don't you think about 90% of that trash would have decomposed or rusted away in 730 years?

Don't get me wrong, I understand that this is a cartoon and its not "supposed" to be a political message... but I just couldn't get past it. Sad to say, this will probably be the only Pixar movie I don't buy.

One of Those People

2008-07-12T17:54:00.000-07:00

So I've taken the plunge. I've now become one of THOSE people... today I took the plunge, stood in line, stood in another line, then at long last got my hands on a new iPhone 3G. This post is coming to you directly from the new phone. I must say that I am very impressed by the capabilities of this device.

So far I've used the Internet, maps, and gps feature. The typing is taking a little getting used to but other than that I have been very happy with it. I'll be posting more later on.

Sweet Redemption

2008-07-11T22:10:00.000-07:00

So, a story today provided me with some much needed vindication in my life. I'm not one who typically remains bitter, but four years ago I lost a very good job due largely in part to IndymacBank. I was a Senior Help Desk tech at the time and the contact I was working on was for them, however my career was quickly cut short due to objections I raised about how they were wanting our company to bill them.

The methods they were asking us to use were definitely gray area, if not downright fraudulent. When I objected and continued to bill their company the proper way, the way we were under contract to bill them, I was quickly put on the proverbial shit-list and dismissed from the company shortly after.

Therefore, I take complete and total satisfaction in the knowledge that IndymacBank, effective today, has been closed and completely shut down by the FDIC's Office of Thrift Supervision. The FDIC will be taking over their accounts, however the balances of most deposit accounts will be trimmed to a max of $100,000 as a result.

While I feel badly for the customers who lost money, and the many employees who's jobs were eliminated as a result, there is some small part of me that feels this company deserved exactly what they got. I've also learned that Indymac was heavily involved in one of the most disasterous segments of the mortgage market, as reported by CNN:

Over the past two years, IndyMac has dropped over 95% in stock price, or about $3.5 billion in market capitalization. Shares traded down nearly 10% on Friday to close at 28 cents.

IndyMac lost $184.2 million in the first quarter and announced on Monday that it was expecting a wider loss for the second quarter. It lost $614 million last year stemming from its focus on the Alt-A mortgage sector, where it originates loans to borrowers who fall between prime (or conforming) and sub-prime on the credit spectrum. The lender's chief executive, Michael Perry, had long argued that it was being unfairly punished given its relatively paltry exposure to sub-prime mortgages.

Rising Alt-A and prime mortgage delinquencies likely were enough indication for investors, however, that the housing crisis had moved beyond the weakest borrowers. Even worse, with the securitization markets in collapse, IndyMac has no way to get new loans off its books. As it turns out, IndyMac was a leader in loans requiring little income and asset documentation, a category that has had disastrous levels of delinquencies at other troubled lenders.

As I read this, I couldn't help but think "none of this suprises me in the slightest." Good riddens, Indymac.

Pat's Barbecue

2008-07-10T21:31:00.000-07:00

So tonight we were in the mood for the unknown. Well, I should say for the slightly unknown... we knew we wanted barbecue but we didn't know where - and oddly enough its hard to find really good barbecue in Utah. Perhaps our standards are just too high?

After doing some digging for a hidden restaurant gem, Kerry and I stumbled across Pat's Barbecue just off of 21st South. If you're thinking to yourself, "This place looks like a total hole in the wall," well that's because it is. This restaurant has been open almost as long as I have been alive, yet I never knew it even existed.

I got what they call the Three Meat Combo, a dish that would surely make any animal rights activist weep huge giant tears. It came in at $13 and was easily... EASILY... two or three total pounds of meat plus a side dish of your choice. This was true Southern Style barbecue, in that the meat is cooked pure with no sauces and very little seasoning. You then apply your sauce after its completely done.

The sauces come in two varieties, mild and hot. The mild is really quite good. The hot has enough kick to knock you off of your seat but still very full of flavor. I was incredibly impressed with the overall quality of the meal... especially given the restaurant's appearance. But as Kerry reminded me, most hole-in-the-wall restaurants are some of the best food you will find. I'm definitely going back to this place!

I also came across this gem in the hallway. I'm trying to convince Heidi to let me get one for the computer room.

This is what Johnny Cash thinks of YOUR weak-ass barbecue! Awww yeeeeah!

Celebrate Independence Day

2008-07-06T21:05:00.000-07:00

The tale of our Independence Day celebration continues. In addition to attending the very hot book signing of Glenn Beck, we had a very nice barbecue over with our friends. Thanks go out to my parents for letting all of us raid their home and pool in our pursuit of joy and happiness!

First it was time to hit the pool. It was a huge hit with all the adults since the temperatures were over 100 degrees for probably the majority of the day. A fair amount of cloud cover made for some great swim time, however the kids for the most part weren't too fond of the pool. It might have had something to do with the water being 65 degrees... but Kerek the Fearless braved the waters and conquered the mighty inflatable lobster! He loved it even though you could obviously tell he was freezing.

Here's a picture of the three troublemakers: Jack, Kian, and Kerek. Jack was constantly all smiles when the camera came out. Kristen says its because he's a ham for the camera.

Took a closer one of Jack to send to Kristen. He started saying cheese right away as soon as he figured out the camera lens was on him.

Due to the rising expense of fireworks our display wasn't as impressive as in previous years. But as I said to Jeff its starting to become more about the kids than it is about the adults. I found a lot more joy to be had in the expressions and the laughs of the children than I did due to my own personal enjoyment. My only regret is that they are still too young to understand the meaning behind this great holiday. Maybe next year Kian will understand it more.

Our first casualties of the evening. They played hard all night and we all had a great time. We the adults listened to a great story about Paul Revere and his ride to Concord. It was a great reminder of what this holiday and what our nation is all about.

My Five Seconds with Glenn Beck

2008-07-05T17:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was probably one of the more active Independence Days I've ever spent in my adult years. I'd been hearing for about a week now that Glenn Beck was going to be in Orem on the 4th for a book signing. Having never been to a book signing before, and of course never having met Glenn Beck, I decided even though it would cost me almost $20 in gas to get there it was just too good of an opportunity to pass up.

Wife and book in tow, we went down to Orem to meet the man we listen to every afternoon. It was a really interesting experience... and there were TONS of people there. When he came in he gave a short introduction and talked about how awesome Utah is and how we celebrate the Fourth of July here. After that, it was time for mass signatures!

My dear wife failed in epic proportions in getting a picture with Glenn signing my actual book. So I had to go back in and take pictures. It seemed like everyone that came through got to experience the "Five Seconds with Glenn Beck." There were so many people that they didn't let us pose for pictures. You went up, he shook your hand, thanked you for coming, and wished you a happy Independence Day. Wham!! Bam!!

I did manage to get in a "Thank you for everything you do for our country" before I was moved along. He smiled and said "Its my honor." What an awesome guy.

And I did get my book signed. Mission accomplished! More on our Independence Day after I go through the pictures!

Stories of America - "God Bless America"

2008-07-02T20:03:00.000-07:00

One of the things that I really love about the Glenn Beck Program is the positive focus it puts on America and our history. Often times Glenn will pull a story from history that is just so powerful it will almost move you to tears - sometimes it actually does.

Today's show did just that. He told the story behind the song "God Bless America." I'm sure everyone has heard it... you probably hear it several times around the Fourth of July. But how many of us know the story... the true story behind that song?

Now, I can say I do. And I want to share it with you. Here's the story as told by Glenn on today's program.

The first time, the first time it was heard was in 1938, and storm clouds were gathering again and a woman who I think sounds strangely like a man sang it. You've heard this version a million times.

What you probably don't know about this song is that it was first heard by Americans in 1938 but it was actually written 20 years before. It was written after World War I. It was written by Irving Berlin. He wrote it for a play called Yip Yip Yaphank, which is a super, super classic that I wish I could see again. He felt the song was inspired and came from God but because of that, maybe it wasn't appropriate for Yip Yip Yaphank. But he also had a problem with the song. So he put it in a drawer and there that song sat for 20 years until Kate Smith.

Kate Smith, she walked into Irving Berlin's home and she said the anniversary of Armistice Day which was the end of World War I, was coming up. And they all sensed that World War II was right around the corner. Nobody would know it better than Irving Berlin. He was a young Jewish man who lived in Siberia. He immigrated here to the United States. He loved the country. He was an immigrant.

She said, "Irving, I need a song. World War I was over and that was the war that was supposed to end all words and now, Irving, you feel it and I feel it. War is coming again and great evil is gathering on the shores of Europe." She said, "I need a song. I need a song. I want to sing it for the anniversary of Armistice Day, she said, but I want something that will convince America that America's going to be okay. It doesn't matter if war is coming. It doesn't matter if Hitler is coming." He said, "Kate, I don't really have anything like that." She said, "Come on, Irving." He thought back. He said, "You know, I wrote a song about 20 years ago. I don't know." He said, "I don't feel comfortable with it." She said, "Why not?" He said, "It's not right. I don't have it down yet." And he said, "The lyrics are more of a prayer than anything else." And he said, "As I wrote it, I just -- Kate, I don't think it's right." He went into the drawer and he dug it out. It was at the bottom of everything. He dug it out and she looked at it. She could sight read. He didn't need to play it on the piano. She read the lyrics and hummed it to herself. She said, this is perfect.

He looked at her and said, "It's boastful. It assumes that America is blessed and that God continues to bless it." Kate Smith looked at Irving Berlin and said, "Irving, it is, he does, I'm singing it." He reluctantly gave it to her but on an understanding. He said, "Kate, I can't take money for this song." She said, "Irving, but who's going to get the rights because I'm telling you right now this is going to be a huge hit. Everybody in the country is going to want a copy of this song. Who do you want the money to go to?" He said, "It was inspired by God. I can't take money for it." He said, "You know what? I know who to give the money to. If this thing does sell, I know who to give the money to."

Well, she sang it. It didn't just sell. Within a week it was sold out in copies all across the country. People were going into music stores and buying the sheet music. They were buying anything they could get for "God Bless America." It has sold and sold and sold and sold.

So who got the money? Well, let me play this and enhance the resources of the Boy Scouts of America.

It's amazing that a young Jewish man from Siberia wrote such a powerful song. Well, it's amazing to some people. I don't find it that amazing when people fall in love with America, when people come to America. It's because of her promise. It's because we understand that it's not today that we're living for. It's not the promise of yesterday. It's the promise of a brighter tomorrow that makes America so great. And that promise for a brighter tomorrow is not for money. It's that people, when they come here, can see and believe that they can become anything, that they can do incredible things, even if they want to keep those incredible things in a drawer for 20 years.

To Feed a Small Nation

2008-06-27T17:57:00.000-07:00

Today at work we ordered a glorious pizza from The Pie for lunch. I had forgotten how obscenely huge these things are. I really think they could feed a small nation... or 10 hungry employees... one of the two.

This is the type of pizza that defines American values! A life of excess and the challenge to push engineering of food to impossible levels. Why settle for a mere 600 calories when you can get a weeks worth of nutrition (and I use the term loosely) in a single sitting? To do so would be do deny the very thing that makes this country great!

For reference, that is a standard 8-inch paper plate that I've placed in the center of that bad boy. And this isn't even the largest size they offer!!

God bless America!

The Car of the Future?

2008-06-25T17:46:00.000-07:00

I present you with what I feel is the greatest step thus far in automotive engineering. Consider the following...

A sporty roadster that can go from 0 to 60 in 3.9 seconds... with a redline of 13,000 RPMs.

Standard features include leather seats, Blaupunkt stereo system, HomeLink universal transmitter, power windows and locks, air conditioning, touch nav screen with GPS, PIN activated security and vehicle disabling system, Bluetooth and Wifi integration.

I know you're thinking, "So what? I can get this in any sports car." Well hold on to your butts...

Consider that this vehicle costs you less than two cents per mile to drive and gets an equivalent of 256 miles per gallon.

Consider that you can drive over 200 miles at less cost than a single gallon of premium grade gas.

Consider that this baby is 100% electric with a battery that is capable of 100,000 miles before any performance losses begin to occur.

My I present to you what I personally believe is the first version of the automobile of the future, the Tesla Roadster. I heard a very, very short blip about this car on the Glenn Beck Program about two weeks ago, and just recently got around to doing some research on it. I must say that this... this!!! is the kind of alternative fuel automobile that America has been waiting for. Not some wussy, spineless Prius. A car that has looks, performance, reliability, and could completely free you from the grips of those dastardly Saudis.

I am a firm believer that when more of these kind of cars come to be, that many Americans will more than happily cast aside our gas-guzzling cars. This is the way Capitalism works, the way America works. Take your "Cap and Trade" and shove it, Obama and McCain. Give me an alternative that I actually want to drive and I guarantee it will sell, and sell well.

You can check it out for yourself at TeslaMotors.com.

Not for the Faint of Heart

2008-06-25T16:38:00.000-07:00

There's two items I really want to get into today, so let's begin. I'm going to be up-front... this post is not going to be for the faint of heart. If you have problems with tough subjects and some mild profanity on my end, you should stop reading this now.

My first item for today comes from the great state of Massachusetts, courtesy of the piece of human trash, Rep. James Fagan. Mr. Fagan set off immense controversy with comments spoken last month at a House debate regarding Jessica's Law, a new piece of legislation requiring massive mandatory sentences for child sex offenders.

This is what Rep. Douchbag had to say:

"I'm gonna rip them apart," Fagan said of young victims during his testimony on the bill. "I'm going to make sure that the rest of their life is ruined, that when they’re 8 years old, they throw up; when they’re 12 years old, they won’t sleep; when they’re 19 years old, they’ll have nightmares and they’ll never have a relationship with anybody.”

Fagan said as a defense attorney it would be his duty to do that in order to keep his clients free from a "mandatory sentence of those draconian proportions."

Contrary to the beliefs of our Supreme Court, I happen to be in favor of the death penalty for people convicted of raping a child. I feel that our technology has progressed to the point that DNA evidence is fairly reliable means for proving guilt. After that, we're talking execution.. and not this lame-ass sit on death row for a year waiting bullcrap. I'm talking a bullet to the head but only after Bubba in cell block 5 has had his way with them.

The only thing that pisses me off more than child rapists, are the dirtbags like Rep. Fagan who not only defend them but try to find legal loopholes to get them out of a hard conviction. Complete assholes who have forgotten that their job is to defend the innocent, to ensure justice, not to shield the guilty.

If you feel like I do, I urge you to at least email Rep. Fagan. Even if you don't live in Massachusetts I think the message needs to be sent to this fool that he's completely wrong in the head.

By the way, here's his full contact information if you should feel so inclined:

STATE REPRESENTATIVE
JAMES H. FAGAN

State House
Room 163
State House
Boston, MA 02133
Telephone: 617-722-2040

District Office
26 Dean Street
Taunton, MA 02780
Telephone: 508-824-7000

E-Mail: Rep.JamesFagan@hou.state.ma.us
Party Affiliation - DEMOCRAT

I am Ninja!

2008-06-23T22:40:00.001-07:00

Well I finally caved. Yes, yes. I finally caved to the glory that is Ninja Gaiden 2. This is probably, aside from Guitar Hero III and Rock Band, one of the most highly anticipated titles to date for the XBox 360. I've been trying to hold out as long as I could... but Microsoft pulled me in with a wonderful free demo available through XBox Live. Damn you Microsoft!

Please note the "M" rating on the cover. I've only played about half of the first mission thus far, and I can tell you with absolute, unwavering certainty that this is not a game for children. Lucky for me, I have no children, so let's get on with the bloodshed shall we?

I'm guessing this is one of the major bad guys I will face down the road. He's a member of the Dark Spider Clan. Yes, that is a scantly clad woman in knee high leather boots wrapped in chains that he's got over his shoulder. I plan on rescuing her later... awww yeeeah!

The first thing that grabbed my attention about this game is the stunning detail of the graphics. The lighting is excellent, the character rendering is beyond compare, and the action my god the action is pretty fast paced. You have a full arsenal of ninja technique at your disposal, including varied weapons of mayhem. My trusty Dragon Katana in hand, I set out to rescue the girl.

... the aftermath of my first encounter with the minions of evil. I emerge victorious, the battered remains of my enemies litter the ground before me... the battle is mine!

... taking a break from the carnage to meditate and take in the wonderfully detailed scenery ... if this game is anything, it is a graphical masterpiece!

I'm doing my best to not blow through this game in my typical one to two days of solid gaming, so I stopped shortly after taking these pictures to come and post my latest displays of virtual heroics. I'm very impressed with the game thus far.

Thank you for playing! I look forward to killing you soon!!

Carrie Underwood!!!!!!

2008-06-18T20:03:00.000-07:00

She's on "The List," and she's on her way to Salt Lake City on November 19th!! That's right! Carrie Underwood!!!!! I've heard she's a singer... of some kind... awwww yeeeah.

Now comes the task of working my way into some tickets!

CARRIE!! UNDERWOOD!!!

Army of Volunteers

2008-06-18T18:52:00.001-07:00

One of the neat things about where I work, is that as a community bank our company puts tremendous time and resources back into the areas in which we live and work every single day. This year has been no different. So far we've had a rather successful United Way drive, multiple charities to which have been donated tens of thousands of dollars, and this week has been the Zions Bank Paint-a-Thon.

To be honest, I kind of came into this at the last minute. My good friend Mike spearheaded the effort for our department. My schedule has been rather tight this week, so I was only able to help out today. I feel a little guilty that many of my coworkers put forth monstrous amounts of effort prior to today. My duties today consisted of painting the shutters, touching up the trim, and talking to the homeowner about when she could start watering her lawn and such again. All in all, I think I was there for about 2 hours.

Here's the finished product. Check out those HOT shutters!

I'm not particularly hot on the color scheme, but Mike assures me that fry-sauce beige is what the homeowner wanted. Apparently the original color was a grayish blue, which personally I think would look a lot better, but its not my house. My heart really goes out to the Zions Bank employees in St. George who worked on similar projects today... as temperatures soared over 100 degrees for most of the day.

Even the small contributions help, or that's what I was told anyways. Honestly I feel better just from showing up today! It was a great experience to help someone I don't even know.

What the Hell is Wrong with People?

2008-06-16T16:17:00.000-07:00

At the beginning of today, I was prepared to come home and write a sad, sad tale involving supermodel Adriana Lima and the further thinning of my "Approved List." However, something on CNN.com today captured my attention... and the word "outraged" doesn't even begin to describe what I felt. This story comes straight to you from Turlock, California, courtesy of CBS13.com:

The Stanislaus County Sheriff's Department began receiving calls late Saturday night from motorists witnessing a man beating a young baby. The suspect had a child's car seat in the back of his four-door pickup truck, which caught the attention of an elderly couple at 10:13 p.m. Saturday because it was stopped in the two-lane road facing the wrong direction, Singh said.

"What we got from witnesses is he was punching, slapping, kicking, stomping, shaking," Singh said. "They tried to intervene and get involved, but their efforts really didn't have an effect. The suspect was engaged in what he was doing. He just pushed them off and went back to it."

The story paints a picture of a man convinced that the child had been possessed by demons. From all accounts he stopped on the side of the road, removed the child from his carseat, and proceeded to beat, stomp, kick, smash, and otherwise pummel the child into a form so unrecognizable that they will have to perform DNA tests to determine the child's identity. If you can stomach to read the details of the story, you can find it here.

A gruesome, horrible tale. Make no mistake. This POS deserved what he got. However the part that outrages me isn't the act itself... it was this part, as I re-read it:

"They tried to intervene and get involved, but their efforts really didn't have an effect. The suspect was engaged in what he was doing. He just pushed them off and went back to it."

Read that section again. He just pushed them off... just pushed them off and went back to it. How in the name of all that is holy could these people allow this to happen? How could they stand by watching a small child, one or two years of age, face this type of death and more or less give up trying to restrain him? What the hell have we become as a people, as a nation, where we will stand by and do nothing?

If I may loosely quote Sir Edmund Burke, "All that is needed for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."

To me, this is more than a story of a child. This is more than a story of some sick, sick man. This story is a dark stain of blame on whoever it was that stood by, did nothing, and allowed 'evil' to triumph. I hope and pray that the people who were the witnesses, the people who stood by and made this half-assed attempt to stop this man, I hope they live every night of the rest of their lives with the memory of the crushed, unidentifiable child laying dead on the road.

I believe in the power of the individual. I believe this man could have been stopped. If he could have been stopped 'in time' is a matter of debate, but to not fight for the child's life I feel speaks volumes about the current state of our society.

Those of you who feel like I do, take the time now to burn this situation into your memories as a time that you would not have stood idly by.

Peace of Mind

2008-06-11T22:35:00.000-07:00

Ah, Boston. I've loved their music ever since I was a small lad. Now through the miracle of modern technology I too can live the dream! I can play guitar for the legends! Booyah!! (mental note: need to play with digital camera settings to take pictures of TV that won't burn your eyes off)

I recently downloaded what I have deemed the "Classic Rock" pack for Guitar Hero III. A three-pack made of pure 80's-rock win: Boston's "Peace of Mind", Journey's "Any Way You Want It", and Foreigner's "Juke Box Hero" - I find myself jamming to the music like I did in my youth, and often times at the expense of my overall score. Its a great pack, however, containing the original vocal tracks and awesomely remastered guitar tracks.

In other gaming news, the Ninja Gaiden II Weekend of Vengeance begins this weekend. I'm seriously thinking about picking the game up from Blockbuster Video this weekend so that I might login and smite my opponents with bloody, ninja-style carnage. It goes without saying that this game is Rated M ... meaning "don't play with children anywhere around you." I haven't played the game yet, but the movie on Xbox Live had more than enough gushing blood to last several minutes of footage.

Awesome.

Rise from the Ashes... Again

2008-06-11T17:19:00.001-07:00

Well... its time to give this another try. After attempting to blog a few months ago - unsuccessfully I might add - its time to start anew with a hope of more frequent thoughts, updates, and general insanity.

I'm Scotch McC. Gamer, evil conservative, wannabe drunken martial artist, and overall nice guy - most of the time. Its nice to meet any of you who happen to come across my blog page. I live in beautiful Salt Lake City, Utah, where I have since the day I was born. I have a great wife but no kids yet.

I feel its fair to be up front on my political beliefs, mostly because they will likely taint every post I have on this blog to some degree. Yes, I am one of those evil conservatives. No, I don't get money from Big Oil, but I wish I did. So, what is a conservative exactly? I think one of my personal idols, Glenn Beck, put it best:

"To be a conservative is, in my definition, is somebody that believes in the power of the individual, somebody that believes, please let me make my decisions, that I have a right to succeed and not be penalized for it. I have a right to fail and have no one run to me if I don't want them to run to me. A conservative believes I have a right to manage my family, I have a right to discipline my family in the way I see fit, as long as it is not criminal. A conservative believes I have the right to worship God, I have a right to worship the God of my understanding, and I do not have the right to jam my version of God down anybody else's throat or my version of no God down anybody's throat. A conservative believes live and let live. That's what a conservative believes. A conservative believes in the smallest amount of government, the smallest government you can get without anarchy. That's what a conservative believes."

That's about all for today. Going to get this finished up so I can work on some other things for the site later.